Fall Fell

Well, I know you are all sitting there with wrinkled brows saying, “What are you going to be for Halloween?” That’s exactly what I was thinking. It’s so funny how connected we all are!

You all know how spontaneous I am. So I thought it would be fun to go over some costumes ideas and talk about how this Halloweeney thing is all going down!

Here’s my amazing list of DIY costumes for weirdos and adventurers like us:

1. A tree – yep, spray some adhesive on some old clothes (not while you’re in them dummy – that’s just silly) and shove them into that crappy pile of leaves that have been sitting since the day after the friggin hurricane. VOILA’ – you are a tree. I can’t tell you your species – that will depend on where you live and what kinds of leaves you raked….if you just said screw it – like I did – and mowed over all your leaves, I am quite sure your neighbor, you know the one who never rakes his yard, will let you have a few.
2. A Scientist – heck yeah – I did this one year and the effect was awesome – so tease or mess up your hair (assuming you have some) and put leaves and plastic bugs from the dollar store in there. You can use live ones but that will be sooooo complicated and hard to explain….plastic is better. rub brown makeup on your face so you  look dirty. Yes – we environmental nerds get pretty dirty. Find some fake blood and make it look like you have done the wetland delineation from hell! When people ask what you are – say “I didn’t have time to dress up – I just had a hard day in the field” – this cracks em up.
3. Nerd – sadly this one is easier for some of us than others. Admit it – some of us look like nerds already – and if you are lucky and are one of the beauties in the field – here’s what you do: get glasses with no lenses (unless of course you already wear glasses in which case you should probably keep them on for safety and just nerd them up with some white tape), Wear a shirt that’s too small, pants too short, carry around a pencil and a field book and pretend to collect data on each person you meet and draw them. Ask nerdy field questions and use words like morphology, hydraulics, biodiversity, data manipulation….ah crap, I just realized I do that most days! Anyway – fun thing is – you will have a record of all the freaks you met. It’s easier to figure out what kind of night you had if you are drinking and Ubering….lol
4. Baby bird – this one takes a bit more prep. Take an inner tube (inflated of course – this costume will NOT work with a floppy black inner tube – and it’s sad that I feel I need to add that!) hot glue sticks to it (don’t ask me what kind or any details – I provide the ideas people). Make it look like a nest. If you don’t know what a nest looks like – Google it (lol). Take an old shirt, use the adhesive (like in number 1) and put feathers from the craft store all over it. You can get a bald cap from the costume store pretty cheap – bring gummy worms with you – and just squawk a lot all night and make other people feed you worms – lol. This one just made me laugh out loud….yeah – I’m a cheap date!
5. Mother/Father Nature – well, I had to let the guys on this one too although it doesn’t work as well. Just rub sparkly green paint all over your nude body. Do NOT use any paint that isn’t made for your body stupid. Then – take bathing suit bottoms (yeah I hate to tell you sexy but summer is over and the chances of you ever wearing the same swim suit is rather slim so suck it up and glue moss or something naturey (yeah I just made that word up so what) all over the bottoms. As for the top – if you are a guy – who needs one. If you are a girl, well I advise using an old bra or top and doing the same with glue and naturey (STOP – I know it’s not a real word) stuff all over it. Face – green glittery stuff….just look generally green, sparkly and pompous. I imagine Mother/Father Nature is rather pompous – and, if they happen to read this and are offended, you do now know where I am! It’s not nice to fool with Mother/Father Nature!! (lmao)

If you haven’t figured out a costume by Halloween, chances are that you read this and realized you already have a costume – be YOU….and when people ask who or what you are just make up some nerd sciency (yeah – a new word again but you get it – don’t hate) explanation about your Halloween project.

I hope you all enjoy fall. It’s one of the nicest times of the year to me. Lots of good weather for exploring and adventuring. So, get out there and see something cool. Go find some inspiration for your costume.