Much Thanks To All Who Nominated Us….

We have recently been nominated for several peer-to-peer blogger awards. These are always a real treat as they come from those who live, work and play here in the blogosphere and it means a lot that we are noticed among millions of blogs!!

 ClaudiaJustSaying…..nominated us for the Kreativ Blogger Award – Thanks so much!

Cindy at Enclosuretakerefuge…nominated us for the Versatile Blogger. She is so sweet!!

I know there were duplicate nominations so I have proposed that we graciously accept the nominations and thank you all for such warm recognition from such amazing bloggers. We are among royalty.

Please continue to enjoy what pour out of us….it’s real, not fiction! This is our lives digitally recreated in type and we hope you like.

Lesson 17 – How to Remove A Tick

You all know by now that ticks are nasty little buggers. They hang stealthily (it is so a word) on the tips of leaves waiting for warm-blooded hard workers like me and you to wander close enough that they can sink their nasty little claws onto you. Once aboard, they creep their nasty little way into the darkest reaches of your warm sweaty body where they  nibble until they find a juicy bit – then they sink their vicious head into your skin and begin to feast on your blood (yeah – I could lie but that’s what they do).

Some of you are concerned that I am a tick hater – that I am biased against these little fellas and am only helping give them a bad rap and making it hard for those who are FOR ticks. I don’t care! Ticks care nothing for their reputation or my opinion or they would dine politely on something other than my ass!

I thought it would be helpful to list a few good ways I have learned to remove them:

1. While holding a beer in one hand, heat a needle with a lighter and pierce the tick while spewing some comforting  bull crap to the victim. This piercing will cause the tick to remove head and later die. The victim will be traumatized forever unless said victim is our puppy Bella who could care less if you rub her belly.
   

   Nasty Little Buggers.....

2. If you cannot find a needle, skip the piercing and go straight for burning it. Hold the lighter close enough to heat and scare it out – be careful not to singe or totally burn up the victim – if the burning up of victim occurs – refer to first aid manual.
3. Carefully grab the tick firmly and gently twist while pulling softly. This will cause it to release its jaws and you can pull it out safely – unless of course the victim is freaking out because they don’t think that is a very good way and are wiggling.
4. Various viscous fluids can be used to smother, choke or otherwise make the damn thing let loose (oil, vaseline, rubbing alcohol, fingernail polish) This all sounds great but takes a long time – you might as well-knit the darned thing a sweater!
5. Tick Remover tool….sounds good right – ha ha – you try that one!

Whatever method you use, the victim will be grossed out, uncomfortable, and probably not happy. Be prepared with candy if under 21 or beer if over….if the victim has four legs just feed or pet it. Ticks suck….REALLY!

(((This is for entertainment purposes only – please don’t inundate me with proper tick removal methods. That is no fun)))

(((And “YES” that is a close up of a tick – don’t you hate them worse now....)))

Lesson 17: Sing Your Heart Out! (by Kristen)

Sing in the car!

As you probably know by now, Chicks with Ticks work in some pretty remote locations, which means that we spend ALOT of time driving around. We’ve found that a great way to kill time when stuck in the truck (hopefully not this kind of stuck) is to sing our hearts out! It took a few weeks of working together before Jacque and I felt comfortable singing in front of eachother, but I remember the first time it happened — we were driving down some podunk highway 5ish years ago after an exhausting day in the field, and Fergie’s “I Hope You Know” came on. As the song reached the chorus, Jacque just belted out with the most beautiful voice. I know she gets embarassed, but she is an amazing singer! I’m not by any stretch of the imagination, but I sing along anyways (though Jacque usually turns the volume up – coincidence?). Singing your heart out is a great way to 1) release stress after a long day, 2) pump yourself up in the morning, or 3) not have to talk to your traveling companion.. because let’s be honest, sometimes you just plain run out of stuff to talk about (unless you are Jacque).

So what’s on the CWT’s playlist these days? WARNING: DO NOT JUDGE. Our genres of choice tend to be country (very fitting for driving through the middle of nowhere) and pop since they are the best for singing along to. We listen to a wide variety of artists from Carrie Underwood to Beyonce, from Michael Jackson to Rascall Flatts, from Lady Antebellum to Madonna. And sadly we’ve even been known to subject some of our clients to our musical preferences (sorry about the Lady Gaga, Gene) or to sing our own crazy made-up songs in the woods (no one can hear us, right?)!

So we want to know – Do you sing in your car or, even better, in the woods? Share your favorite songs with us! Here are some of ours:

Family With Ticks!

I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present this year– an unforgettable  paddle trip with the family down Fisheating Creek! Actually, I did ask (beg) for it, and finally got my family (including my 83-year old grandfather) to reluctantly leave the comforts of home for the wilds of Florida. They were skeptical at first, but as soon as they layed eyes on the droopy cypress trees and hot pink spoonbills, they were smitten. They were so enraptured with the beautfy of the creek that having to portage kayaks, sneak by unhappy gators, and sacrifice iphones/cameras (next time my brother and his fiance will use a dry bag) didn’t phase them! It’s hard to explain how special it was to share my love for the great outdoors with my family, so I’ll let the pictures tell the story. Get out there!

Lesson 12: Teach, understand, love, conserve

“In the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught.” -Baba Dioum

When I first read this quote painted across a wall of the South Carolina Aquarium, I stopped dead in my tracks. I was struck by how much this quote described my life not only as an environmentalist striving to protect ecosystems I had learned about and grown to love, but also as someone who just loves to learn. Think about it… anytime you invest money, energy, time, whatever, don’t you hold a greater interest in the outcome? I can think of many times I’ve been places (forests, museums, aquariums) where I had no clue what I was looking at. But then I opened a field book, read a placard, listened to a talk, and it completely changed the experience from walking around blindly to knowing and, more importantly, caring what I was looking at.

So here’s a little challenge! The leaf below is that of a red maple. A red maple is a common tree species in the United States. Its leaves have five points (the bottom two of which are much more subtle) and red stems. Florida isn’t known for it’s fall colors, but this particular tree’s leaves turn red at this time of year.

Red maple (Acer rubrum)

I know this little piece of knowledge seems insignificant and even silly, but I am confident that, in some small way, it will change the way you look at the world around you. So next time you are driving down the road and see a red tree amongst all the green and brown (in Florida at least), you will KNOW. You can only imagine what a dorky car ride it is when Jacque and I are pointing out plants!! And we love every minute of it 🙂

Our Namesake

Jacque was covered in ticks at Blues Creek!

Ticks are nasty little buggers. Actually, they are arachnids, not bugs at all, with eight creepy little legs. Some ticks are bigger than others — seed ticks are teeny tiny, while deer ticks are a little bigger. They all make us cringe!

Sometimes we discover ticks on us while we’re in the field, which is preferred because that usually means we’ve found them before they’ve had time to imbed themselves into our bodies! Every so often though, a few hours after leaving the woods (or even a day or two later) we’ll feel a little itch… and there it is, a damn tick! How did we miss it?? We always do a tick check, afterall! Those things are just plain devious.

Last time I found a tick on me, I was driving to work and felt something on my head… it was an imbedded tick! I pulled it out immediately! I know they say to light a match on its butt or use nail polish and this and that, but after all these years of getting ticks, I’ve found all of that to be a major pain. The first time I was covered in ticks was after a visit to Ocala National Forest (that place is wrought with them). I immediately went to the doctor, and this is what he told me: 1) It’s rare to get Lyme disease in Florida. 2) A tick has to be imbedded for at least 24 hours to transfer the disease. 3) There is no way to actually test for Lyme disease, it’s just based off of symptoms (flu-like ones such as dizziness, headaches, fever, sore throat, joint pain) and the level of probability that you could have contracted the disease based on answers to a questionnaire.

So I was sent home, Lyme disease free (supposedly!). Ever since then, I haven’t worried too much about it and have learned to embrace being a CHICK WITH TICKS!!

Lesson 8 – How to Use a Machete (or not)

You know, some of you are saying, “Jacque, we know how to swing a machete!” Well, I seriously doubt it. I am not trying to be rude. I just know what I used to believe….that I could swing a machete. I also used to believe that, in the movies, that ringing noise that people made chopping things with a machete was a foley sound….NOPE! That’s the sound of chopping properly with a machete.

That’s right. You haven’t been doing it right unless you hear that RING when you flick the tip of the machete through some vines (or your finger John). The rest of the machete is for hacking or chopping wood….not swinging like Indiana Jones through the jungle. So, here are some helpful pointers on machetes and their uses (or not uses).

It's a jungle out there - iStock photo

1. A dull machete is a piece of useless metal. The only thing you can do with it is hurt yourself or embarrass yourself.
2. A sharp machete in the wrong hands is a useless piece of metal (and you know the rest….)
3. If you are going into deep thickets, a machete can save you a lot of scratches (or be a pain in the arse!)
4. Carrying a machete around in the wilderness with all that other crap is a BAD idea. You will either…..you know!
5. Most small shrubs and trees have branches that can be snapped off easier than hacking poorly with a bad machete.
6. Machetes are not the best tool for woody vines….fire is best for that, or giant rabbits, or magic! Nothing else seems to work for us.
7. Machete holsters are stupid and so are you for trying to pretend like you know how to use one….get a real one that straps to your leg and your belt….otherwise – there is a distinct possibility that you will trip and stab yourself with that blade….sounds fun huh!
8. A sharp machete will cut fingers….right John!! If I tell you to be careful and that I just sharpened the machetes, I probably did and you probably should!! lol luckily we all know first aid!
9. Rubbing oil on your machete will keep it from rusting – WD40 works too….this is serious….rub it carefully!
10. You can probably put the machete down and do what we do – stop almost stabbing yourself, cutting your coworkers in your swing radius, and just MOVE THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR WAY!!! We have saved countless hours, many serious injuries, and maybe even a life but doing completely away with using it in the field. And, yes, we survey! We use a total station and have found that using our hands to move only what is necessary is much more effective and efficient….TRUST ME – we have done hundreds of surveys in extreme conditions….it works!

Machetes are still in our truck. We like to see who grabs one when we take them in the field – this is how we gauge new field partners. For those of you who have worked with us and grabbed a machete thinking that’s what we would do – we still love you but you need some more time in the forest and swamps! Chicks with Ticks Go Anywhere – without machetes!!

Chicks with Ticks Shirts – Three Generations of Chicks with Ticks Modeling!

My mom and daughter at the homemade cabins my dad designed with recycled materials!

You can order your Chicks with Ticks Shirts as seen in these photos – $20 + Shipping…..just contact me (prepay only – Paypal is accepted!).

Love us some Chicks with Ticks

Chicks with Ticks - Go Anywhere

Lesson 5 – How to Speak Floridian Cowboy

You know, that Foxworthy guy has nothing on Chicks with Ticks and we thought you oughta know jest how we do it out in the swamps. There ain’t nuttin’ like shooting the breeze with a true Florida cowboy. Not the kind that jest thinks he’s got cowboy boots and a buckle. The kind that cuts out cows and knows a good roper when he sees one.

Some of you are wonderin’ what the hell I’m a talkin’ ’bout. Well, when you tromp out in the Florida wilds, you meet some mighty fine folks. Not all of them know the scientific names for the trees they fell to rotate calfin’ fields. Most of ’em know more ’bout making hay and tellin’ yarns….so here’s some tips so you don’t look like an idgit talkin’ to ’em.

Florida Cowboy Country Y'all

1. Ain’t is too a word. Always has been.
2. If you done did something – it’s done.
3. Spittin’ ain’t rude. It’s necessary when ya chaw or dip. If you don’t chaw or dip – what do ya do?
4. There ain’t nuttin’ rude about talkin’ bout the weather. Everthang we do is ‘fected by the weather.
5. Cutting out cows ain’t got nuttin’ to do with knifin’. It’s how we separate cows for thangs like breeding, market, etc…
6. If ya can’t understand what a cowboy says….jest say, “Yup” a lot, nod, and go “Woowee” ever now and again.  No one will know the better. Jest be polite.
7. If ya can’t lick ’em, join ’em. That’s right, jest start relaxin’ the ends of all ya words. Make anythang have a twang. Purdy soon, ya’ll will be one of ’em.
8. Cowboys like purdy women. You don’t gotta be done up. Just a women. That makes ya purdy! Gotta love it!

I hope this lesson comes in handy. i know it will in South Florida where there’s a least one cowboy we spent a lot of time with. Can’t tell ya his name but I know he’s still out there and I can’t wait to visit again and shoot the breeze.

Lesson 4 – How to Behave Around Scorpions (I did not scream)

Most of you are asking, “Hey Jacque, how am I supposed to behave around scorpions?” I know, it’s a complicated situation. So, I put together this little Cheat Sheet so you will feel like a pro.

1. Scorpions are horrible – remember that. They are creepy, nasty, ugly, scary, sneaky little arachnids that are a cross between a spider and an alien that wants to eat me  you! If you remember this – you may be okay. If you disagree, you are plainly an alien who wants to eat me, too.
2. Scorpions love dry places. Under pine bark is their number one favorite place to hang out. Luckily, I don’t hang out there, unluckily, I work in forests. Please do NOT disturb pine bark unless YOU WANT TO SEE SCORPIONS (and termites – which aren’t that bad). If someone tells you that scorpions live under the bark and you still insist on kicking it (MIK) then don’t run to me crying when one gets on your shoe!
3. If, for any reason, you are in my presence and happen to see a scorpion and think, “It would be so funny to put this near Jacque,” I will not find it amusing. Like I said – they eat your brains, just like zombies….yeah – I know they’re small – THEY ARE SNEAKY…..on those freaky little spiderish legs. And I will NOT scream (even though Kristen and several other people who will remain nameless say that I screamed a lot) and anyone who says I did is a liar. Hey – who’s the expert here?
   

   Alien Evil

4. Scorpions love to get into small places where you need to put your hands, like wells and pipes, so look first – here is the old rule – THAT’S WHY THEY CALL THEM STICKS DUH!! Put one of those in there first, genius….
5. Scorpions sting. Yep. They sting. Florida versions of scorpion are supposed to be rather harmless but I disagree. I think scorpions wrote that crap. They WANT us to think that – I’ll bet they’re sitting there in that nice cozy well pipe saying, “I can’t wait until that idiot human sticks its hand in here instead of a stick – ha ha!” Stinger…remember…poison…allergic…swelling! Anyway – it’s your hand.
6. When you finally do see the scorpion and realize that there isn’t just one but one covered in hundreds of babies – that is NOT CUTE!!! Please do not say it is. This makes you look like a sympathizer. Yeah – I said it – looks and sounds like you are on their side. Baby scorpions are just small scorpions. They are carnivorous, cannibalistic, and gross. GOT IT?
7. Once you see it, pass by it, and get through it – do not tell anyone how much I you screamed! If you do, I will feed you to the scorpions. And, lastly – I AM NOT AFRAID OF SCORPIONS. I just happen to know more about them that most people – I thought I owed it to you to share. You’re Welcome!