The Fog

I know you are saying, “Jacque, where the hell have you been?” Well, I’ve been all over the damned place and I’m here to tell you I am tired of squirelling around. I’m here doing the same thing I have always been doing – loving the wilds of Florida.

Today, I’d like to share with you my opinion about FOG. I spent the morning in it. I drove in it, hiked in it, did paperwork in it, had tailgate meetings in it, spotted deer in it, and generally took some amazing pictures in it.

But I want to tell you something about fog that may surprise you….IT’S WET! Yes, I know, you are shocked – speechless even to learn this fact. Yep – it’s made of PURE WATER. Of course, fog is tiny droplets of water that get all over you. You can’t avoid them. The darned things are swirling all over the place in the morning sun. They light on cobwebs from the night before, they collect in your hair, they pool on leaves of smartweed, and make it feel like you’re breathing clouds. 

So, here’s what I think you should do if it’s foggy out and you have to wander around like an ologist…

1. First and foremost – stay calm. It will not harm you in any way. Well, I guess it can harm you indirectly when you slip in the wet grass or clay, and you fall on your butt, which then becomes covered in slimy mud, which you forget is there when you sit in your truck and make a huge nasty mess.
2. Fog hides important things. Yes – things like oncoming vehicles, huge trees, and depending on how dense – buildings. Be safe, go slow, use caution. Especially if you are busy thinking about the panther tracks they found near your work site and are goofy trying to spot a panther and instead spy a group of doe staring at you through the fog like you’re an alien.
3. You will get wet! Yes – I know it seems tiny and harmless but IT’S SLY. Fog is so small that it wraps you in it’s false sense of comfort and you wander around in the wet grass and never even realized that slowly, softly, it is covering you in a dampness that penetrates every square inch of your clothes – and if it’s cold – you will slowly get colder and damper until you just look like a soppy frigid freak! And the paperwork that you are carrying turns floppy and it becomes nearly impossible to write on.
4. It’s beautiful. Yes – it forms sparkling prisms on the tips of leaves reflecting the sunrise so clearly. If you peer closely – the whole world is inverted in one droplet of gathered fog making it seem like you’re in another world. It lines up on last night’s spider webs and creates pearls of crystals that fascinate and captivate. If you turn toward the sun it creates rainbows that frame the backdrop and make it seem so purposeful that your breath catches in your chest and you forget that you are standing in mud, in the middle of a weird pond, nowhere in particular, trying to follow a five foot tall Hispanic man with an infectious smile who always makes your day better.

So, with those tips, I have the utmost confidence that you will now be better equipped to handle yourself in the fog. Of course, be safe, lights on, speed slow, eyes open. But don’t forget, it’s just fog, it’s no excuse not to get out there and GO ANYWHERE!!!