Pretty Dirty…

I know what you’re thinking, ”hey, Jacque, What happens when function meets fashion?” Well, I am here to tell you all about it. You all know what a fashionista I am in my snake boots and pigtails. It’s a gift, what can I say?

Well, after spending the last 20 years in the wilds of Florida (and other long reaching locales), it has become apparent that we need to confess our fashion sins. Kristen and I spent many a day wandering and studying the secret cracks of the Florida swamps in….wait for it……wait for it……..wait for it……..

MEN’S CLOTHING AND BOOTS

That’s right folks. I even wear men’s underwear in the field. It’s been a long standing secret that we tromp around in the woods wearing men’s wear. You may ask us why. You may ponder what that even looks like. You might just think to yourself that we are weird anyway so it makes perfect sense.

Well, it’s for very practical reasons I assure you. Men’s pants have deep pockets. Men’s boots are taller. Men’s underwear don’t show your bum when bugs run up your pant leg. Men’s shirts have more function and less fancy. In short – men’s clothing are better suited for what we do.

What am I gonna do about it? Keep wearing it? NOPE. We are beginning to design a lone of outdoor apparel with the functionality for women who work in the water and wilds. What the heck…we have nothing else to lose. Lost keys falling out of shallow pockets in my girlie pants – ripped many a girlie shirt, got bitten and chased in girlie boots…..it’s about time we fixed this!

So, keep your eyes and ears open for what’s to come….a line of outdoor & work clothes for women who get wet and dirty. If you know us, you know they will be badass. Now, stop reading my blog and get out there and be adventurous – GO ANYWHERE.

The Fog

I know you are saying, “Jacque, where the hell have you been?” Well, I’ve been all over the damned place and I’m here to tell you I am tired of squirelling around. I’m here doing the same thing I have always been doing – loving the wilds of Florida.

Today, I’d like to share with you my opinion about FOG. I spent the morning in it. I drove in it, hiked in it, did paperwork in it, had tailgate meetings in it, spotted deer in it, and generally took some amazing pictures in it.

But I want to tell you something about fog that may surprise you….IT’S WET! Yes, I know, you are shocked – speechless even to learn this fact. Yep – it’s made of PURE WATER. Of course, fog is tiny droplets of water that get all over you. You can’t avoid them. The darned things are swirling all over the place in the morning sun. They light on cobwebs from the night before, they collect in your hair, they pool on leaves of smartweed, and make it feel like you’re breathing clouds. 

So, here’s what I think you should do if it’s foggy out and you have to wander around like an ologist…

1. First and foremost – stay calm. It will not harm you in any way. Well, I guess it can harm you indirectly when you slip in the wet grass or clay, and you fall on your butt, which then becomes covered in slimy mud, which you forget is there when you sit in your truck and make a huge nasty mess.
2. Fog hides important things. Yes – things like oncoming vehicles, huge trees, and depending on how dense – buildings. Be safe, go slow, use caution. Especially if you are busy thinking about the panther tracks they found near your work site and are goofy trying to spot a panther and instead spy a group of doe staring at you through the fog like you’re an alien.
3. You will get wet! Yes – I know it seems tiny and harmless but IT’S SLY. Fog is so small that it wraps you in it’s false sense of comfort and you wander around in the wet grass and never even realized that slowly, softly, it is covering you in a dampness that penetrates every square inch of your clothes – and if it’s cold – you will slowly get colder and damper until you just look like a soppy frigid freak! And the paperwork that you are carrying turns floppy and it becomes nearly impossible to write on.
4. It’s beautiful. Yes – it forms sparkling prisms on the tips of leaves reflecting the sunrise so clearly. If you peer closely – the whole world is inverted in one droplet of gathered fog making it seem like you’re in another world. It lines up on last night’s spider webs and creates pearls of crystals that fascinate and captivate. If you turn toward the sun it creates rainbows that frame the backdrop and make it seem so purposeful that your breath catches in your chest and you forget that you are standing in mud, in the middle of a weird pond, nowhere in particular, trying to follow a five foot tall Hispanic man with an infectious smile who always makes your day better.

So, with those tips, I have the utmost confidence that you will now be better equipped to handle yourself in the fog. Of course, be safe, lights on, speed slow, eyes open. But don’t forget, it’s just fog, it’s no excuse not to get out there and GO ANYWHERE!!!

I miss mud…

I know, I know, you are saying, “but Jacque, how the hell can you miss mud?”. Well, anyone who knows me knows that I love mud. I love everything that involves getting muddy. I love everything (well MOST everything) that lives in and around mud.

 

I am going back to the MUD!

I will be  working with Ground Level out of Bowling Green, FL and boy oh boy am I excited. It’s been a while since I got to practice being a super nerd so I am really looking forward to working with them.

What will I be doing? Duh!!! The same stuff I always have with a few little twists. I will be learning about blueberry farming, managing projects that are construction related, playing with fire, slogging through wetlands, working on some secret experiments (bwahahaha evil laugh) and generally running around the wilds of Florida and

the United States BEING A SUPER NERD.

So, stay tuned for some new adventures, stories, and hilarious escapades. And, meanwhile, GET OUT AND DO….ANYTHING!!!

What the…

Kai takes a break while doing a fish survey.

Well, that’s right. I know all of you are probably saying, “Jacque, where have you been? What amazing things have you seen?” Well, I’m here to tell you that I have seen some doozies!

That’s right, I’ve just spent three months in south Florida in MIAMI. I have seen some amazing and some horrific things. I do want to preface all this with – the typical – HEY SILLY – THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!

Yep, Miami is actually north Cuba – which isn’t a bad thing at all. You probably think the traffic sucks, people are rude, no one speaks English, and it’s hot and everyone looks like a super model.

NOPE – the traffic is an awesome raceway each day, the people are warm and friendly, Spanish isn’t really that hard and people are patient, and most people look just like you and me.

The Keys were amazing, the everglades are awesome, the marshes and wetlands are definitely different. But, what I noticed more than anything is what’s the same. The wilds of South Florida are just as beautiful as ours. There are, of course, no streams to speak o

Jacque takes a break during a fish survey.

f. Ditches replaced any natural sloughs and creeks long ago to make way for agriculture.

But there are beautiful dahoon wetlands, sawgrass marshes filled with little killifish, and beautiful beaches and places to catch you fish dinner.

Hey – don’t take my word for it. Get out there – GO ANYWHERE. Oh yeah, and check out The Florida Adventure Company on Facebook. Let me come speak to your class or club. I’m dying to share!

Fall Fell

Well, I know you are all sitting there with wrinkled brows saying, “What are you going to be for Halloween?” That’s exactly what I was thinking. It’s so funny how connected we all are!

You all know how spontaneous I am. So I thought it would be fun to go over some costumes ideas and talk about how this Halloweeney thing is all going down!

Here’s my amazing list of DIY costumes for weirdos and adventurers like us:

1. A tree – yep, spray some adhesive on some old clothes (not while you’re in them dummy – that’s just silly) and shove them into that crappy pile of leaves that have been sitting since the day after the friggin hurricane. VOILA’ – you are a tree. I can’t tell you your species – that will depend on where you live and what kinds of leaves you raked….if you just said screw it – like I did – and mowed over all your leaves, I am quite sure your neighbor, you know the one who never rakes his yard, will let you have a few.
2. A Scientist – heck yeah – I did this one year and the effect was awesome – so tease or mess up your hair (assuming you have some) and put leaves and plastic bugs from the dollar store in there. You can use live ones but that will be sooooo complicated and hard to explain….plastic is better. rub brown makeup on your face so you  look dirty. Yes – we environmental nerds get pretty dirty. Find some fake blood and make it look like you have done the wetland delineation from hell! When people ask what you are – say “I didn’t have time to dress up – I just had a hard day in the field” – this cracks em up.
3. Nerd – sadly this one is easier for some of us than others. Admit it – some of us look like nerds already – and if you are lucky and are one of the beauties in the field – here’s what you do: get glasses with no lenses (unless of course you already wear glasses in which case you should probably keep them on for safety and just nerd them up with some white tape), Wear a shirt that’s too small, pants too short, carry around a pencil and a field book and pretend to collect data on each person you meet and draw them. Ask nerdy field questions and use words like morphology, hydraulics, biodiversity, data manipulation….ah crap, I just realized I do that most days! Anyway – fun thing is – you will have a record of all the freaks you met. It’s easier to figure out what kind of night you had if you are drinking and Ubering….lol
4. Baby bird – this one takes a bit more prep. Take an inner tube (inflated of course – this costume will NOT work with a floppy black inner tube – and it’s sad that I feel I need to add that!) hot glue sticks to it (don’t ask me what kind or any details – I provide the ideas people). Make it look like a nest. If you don’t know what a nest looks like – Google it (lol). Take an old shirt, use the adhesive (like in number 1) and put feathers from the craft store all over it. You can get a bald cap from the costume store pretty cheap – bring gummy worms with you – and just squawk a lot all night and make other people feed you worms – lol. This one just made me laugh out loud….yeah – I’m a cheap date!
5. Mother/Father Nature – well, I had to let the guys on this one too although it doesn’t work as well. Just rub sparkly green paint all over your nude body. Do NOT use any paint that isn’t made for your body stupid. Then – take bathing suit bottoms (yeah I hate to tell you sexy but summer is over and the chances of you ever wearing the same swim suit is rather slim so suck it up and glue moss or something naturey (yeah I just made that word up so what) all over the bottoms. As for the top – if you are a guy – who needs one. If you are a girl, well I advise using an old bra or top and doing the same with glue and naturey (STOP – I know it’s not a real word) stuff all over it. Face – green glittery stuff….just look generally green, sparkly and pompous. I imagine Mother/Father Nature is rather pompous – and, if they happen to read this and are offended, you do now know where I am! It’s not nice to fool with Mother/Father Nature!! (lmao)

If you haven’t figured out a costume by Halloween, chances are that you read this and realized you already have a costume – be YOU….and when people ask who or what you are just make up some nerd sciency (yeah – a new word again but you get it – don’t hate) explanation about your Halloween project.

I hope you all enjoy fall. It’s one of the nicest times of the year to me. Lots of good weather for exploring and adventuring. So, get out there and see something cool. Go find some inspiration for your costume.

Tropical Tromping….

I know you are wondering what is going on in the world. You are asking why the Chicks with Ticks haven’t been around.

Kaleigh and Allison exploring the sand flats

Well, IT’S SUMMER SILLY. That’s right – kids are out of school and adventures abound. So, in honor of summer I thought we would begin to tell you what AMAZING places we have been adventuring so far.

View of the shore.

We are going to start with Caladesi State Park https://www.floridastateparks.org/park/Caladesi-Island. It is only the most beautiful island ever…well at least one we can paddle to.

Alex relaxing near an old log.

So, we load up paddle boards, coolers, kayaks and 4 kids….me with 4 kids isn’t that unusual. In fact, I almost always travel with 4 kids. Just so happens that this trip included my two biologic kids and each of their best friends. IT also included loads of silliness at Wal Mart to get food and stuff, bouncy balls that flew out of the window (another story for another time) and an amazing parking spot.

Allison searching for adventure….and creatures.

We loaded up and paddled out to the tip of the island from the causeway. I recommend this for above average paddlers as there is a boat traffic pattern, channel, sand bar, and sometimes a strong current and winds. This paddling is very east most times – but occasionally it is a little tiresome for beginners – none the less – it’s a blast.

There are mangrove trails to paddles, crystal clear shallows to explore, lots of sea creatures to selfie with, clean sandy shores, bird watching, shelling, relaxing, and – our favorite – ADVENTURING. SO – don’t miss out. You can rent kayaks and paddle boards on the causeway. Also, if paddling is not for you – take the ferry – it’s affordable and fun. Bring your lunch – camera and RELAX and enjoy the amazing natural habitats of Florida beaches.

For advanced paddlers (and drinkers) there is a marina and beach well into the islands that has amazing lunch and sangria. The beaches host tortoises and beautiful rare plants. You can paddle with porpoises sometimes and see some great mangroves.

You think my tractor’s sexy?

Wide open spaces.

That’s right, it’s official, I am now a farmer! You thought, ” Jacque, what the hell are you doing farming? I thought you were a scientist.” Well, I’m here to tell you – you can’t farm without science…and mud, and cows, and grass, and fertilizer (fancy name for cow poo), and TRACTORS!!

Rolling Rolls

I have spent some hefty time sitting on a Rollmaster harvester on our sod farm near the Myakka river. I can’t tell you how amazing it is to ride and operate the harvester which rolls up the sod. Sitting behind a diesel tractor all day isn’t my idea of a glam job – but it sure as heck had me smiling. So, I have come to the simple conclusion that….drum roll please…..KRISTEN WAS ALWAYS RIGHT – WE SHOULD BE FARMERS!!!

It’s such a green and simple life, fraught with weather watching, cow chasing, muddy boots, pump fixin, rain gauging, cow patty avoiding, and

Farmer Jack

sweet smelling grass! The most interesting thing is – all that GREEN brings in a lot of GREEN! Green side up and

Trucking along…

payday is Friday kind of green.

I thought all you kids out there would want to see how a girl farmer works…and what a sod farm looks like. So, without any further adieu…..For Fun Friday – Here’s Farming….

 

She did WHAT?

It’s Perfect! Go Anywhere!

That’s right, settle down, I left. Yeah yeah – I left the amazing team that has been my family for almost 10 years. I had been….well – it’s complicated. Let’s just leave it at – I was ready for something new! The bad news is that we are all scattered a bit. Good news is – well – we still all work together.

“How the heck do you work together if you work at different companies, ” you might ask -well – that’s a very interesting story…so here it goes.

We build streams. You know that – we study, create, monitor, design, and build streams (among a million other things). We work with some fairly awesome contractors. Last year, we built a stream in an undisclosed area with a small firm from a nearby city. They were amazing. The stream was almost 10000′ long and turned out beautifully.

Sadly, we lost more than Jess last year. We lost a great colleague who worked on our stream with the contractor. So, long story short, I now work for the owner as his stream guru. I will literally be building the streams my old team designs!

Yep – we are all lucky people. Not only that, I also get to do some pretty awesome “save the world” stuff too. Oh – add onto that I work for a great guy and have an amazing crew! I will tell more about that later….so don’t worry – the Chicks with Ticks (and John and Josh) will still have wild adventures and stories to tell. You will just have to keep up with us!

Get out there – and GO ANYWHERE!!!

Where the heck have the Chicks with Ticks been?

That’s right, I know you are all wondering where the heck we have been. Well, there isn’t really one answer – there are many – in fact, there are so many that I am just gonna make a pass at the major 2-3 reasons….so, for all those interested, here it goes…

Losing Jess left us all lost…

• Jess one of the founding Chicks with Ticks being diagnosed with cancer and dying after only some months leaving us all a little shaken, lost, and unfocused
• The slow separation of the field team – Kristen becoming a project manager, and Josh and I the field team.
• Lastly – Me leaving our company to join a smaller company who actually builds the streams we design.

There are other, smaller reasons, add a little winter laziness, a bunch of kids, some amount of relationship changes for the better and a whole lot of life and you get – well, a lull!

I apologize from my heart. This blog has kept be sane for almost 3 years. Your fellowship and support has kept the lights on in the darkness. It has continued to be my distinct pleasure to share with you all the joys, trials and tribulations of what we do…BUT….now, I want to share with you….

Jacque leaves after almost 10 years!

A NEW BEGINNING…one which takes us all in different directions all paths crossing at different angles, all experiences new and exciting. So, if you have the strength and courage to continue to stand by us as we push on in the journey – well, grab on folks….it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!

Next installment will be the introduction of new characters and roles!!